Everyone also seems to agree that the I’m Not A Person You Can Put On Speakerphone Shirt characters are Tyrion, Arya, and Jon Snow. They are indeed wondrous characters. They are heroes. They fail many times, but in a way they are infallible: they are so incredibly sympathetic, they are always trying to do the right thing, they have kindness & empathy & bravery & loyalty. In fact, nearly every voice in the first two novels is of this type: the HERO. Sansa is one exception – however, she is a victim, and I found her perspective to be very uncomfortable. But I found the tale of the novel’s other non-hero, barely even an anti-hero, to be particularly compelling: Theon Greyjoy. You’re the bomb, Theon.
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The kid is an asshole, a smug and irritating asshole. He thinks he’s smarter than everyone else. He makes plans upon plans that seemed based entirely around the I’m Not A Person You Can Put On Speakerphone Shirt that because he is thinking these thoughts, they will no doubt occur. He is arrogant beyond belief. He has an annoying, self-pleased smirk whenever another character describes him. He is a rough sex-loving womanizer and he strings girls along. In the first novel, he kicks around a decapitated head like a soccer ball.
Favorite Theon part: getting a blowjob while thinking about how awesome his future successes will be. And the I’m Not A Person You Can Put On Speakerphone Shirt he climaxes as he considers how his great deeds will even overshadow those of his dear old dad. What a self-absorbed asshole! I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
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